Moving On
by countrywolf22
Summary: What if Mockingjay's epilogue was a lie? What if Katniss's love is dead and when she left to find the other, he has already moved on? Will she settle for just friends or will she die from a dark depression? *MOCKINJAY SPOILERS* T because I'm paraniod!
1. The Bird with the Bread

**Okay! Just BTW, this is my first fanfiction EVER so please read and criticize!**

**The Bird with the Bread**

I'm a liar okay? Shut up, and deal with it. I've been lying my whole life so it shouldn't be a surprise that I lied about me and Peeta. He died yesterday so it doesn't matter anymore. I thought I loved him, but I didn't and I realized that after he died and I saw _him _again. Just listen to my story and mabye you'll understand.

I was sitting in the hospital reading my baker a book when his heart began to speed; doctors rushed in, and tried to help. "CLEAR!" one of the doctors yelled out and shocked his heart while the nurses tried to make him breathe again. I stood there, shocked, frantically moving around the doctors trying to help. I finally made it to his side and held his hand, telling him it would be okay. With his dying breath, he said, "Make it right with him. I love you" and then, his heart stopped, he refused to breath and I knew that it was for good. I ran up to one of the nurses, crying. Her name was Blanche, I think. But she knew how I felt because her husband died just a year before _his _death, in this same hospital. I bawled my eyes out for hours that felt like days. I had no idea how she was able to put up with my sniveling and choking for that long, but right then, I didn't care. All I knew was that I had officially lost everyone that I loved. I needed someone to comfort me, to be there for me. And I know exactly who he is.

He's the one boy that would always be my best friend; my second half. The boy gave me a love I could never return. Gale Hawthorne. The only problem was that I had no idea where he was, what he was doing, or if he already got over me. I was torn between depression and the possibility of rejection. I don't think I could take it if he pushed me out. I was already stressed enough without being rejected by the only person on this planet that I thought still loved me, but I don't think that I would survive another day stuck here alone, in this big, empty house. I think about what I'm going to do when I see my hunting bag in the corner of my room so I go to the woods to clear my head. I bag 2 rabbits, a squirrel, and even a fawn. I go to the rock where Gale and I met up every Sunday and lie in a tree nearby when I see a mockingjay. I look at him and ask what I should do, knowing that he wouldn't answer, but he answers me, drops a small piece of bread, and flies away, but what shakes me out of the tree was what he says. He says "Gale" in Peeta's smooth voice. They are exactly alike and how I didn't see the similarity before frightens me. Instead of white and black feathers, they are blond and brown, the color of _his_ hair with some fresh baked bread to match. It was _pita_ bread. I immediately know what I have to do. I book the next train to District 2.

On the train, I begin to run up and down the aisles trying to keep myself awake and away from the possibility of more crying fits. I make sure that all I concentrate on is not running into people in the aisles and ignore the stares of those watching me. I know that sleep is impossible without any arms to protect me during my slumber so I immediately scratch off that idea once I sit down in my seat. I feel a tap on my shoulder and whip around to face a little girl in the arms of her parents.

"Whattaya doin' lady?" She asks me with a confused look on her face. I smile at her and tell her my little secret.

"I am running up and down the aisles trying to stay awake so the nightmares don't scare me."

"Oh. Well then you should have a teddy bear to keep those darnded nightmares away. Here" she says passing me a small, but soft, brown teddy bear with button eyes and a fuzzy tail while she stifles a yawn "take mine. I have my mommy and daddy to protect me from the night. Take good care of Brick for me" she says trying to stay awake. Almost instantly though, she passes out from exhaustion. I stare at the bear with love and compassion for this little girl and her kind gesture toward me. After getting myself settled, I fall asleep with thoughts about Gale, Peeta, Prim, and everyone else that I love, both dead and alive. I wake up while still clutching Brick, panicked. After realizing my dream of Gale in the hanging tree with a necklace of rope around his strong neck was just that; a dream. I turn around to see the little girl with a confused expression on her face when I remember what she did for me last night.

"Here's Brick back. You were right. He really did help me sleep." I say with genuine gratitude.

"You're welcome lady!" She says with happiness radiating from her smile. After another hour of waiting, the train finally stops and I run out the door after saying goodbye to the girl. _'I didn't even learn her name'_ I thought to myself. I brush away the thought as I run off the train suddenly realizing that I have no idea where he lives though. I ask one woman who's sitting next to me on the bench if she knows where Gale Hawthorne lives.

She responds, "Well duh, I know where _Gale_ lives. He's my next door neighbor."

"Could you take me to his house?"

"I don't know… you might not like what you find…." she says, as if knowing who I was.

"I DON'T GIVE A CRAP! JUST TAKE ME TO HIS DAMN HOUSE!"

"Whoa! Chill out! Sure, sure I'll take you there!"

The next thing I know, she's pulling me down a street to a nice neighborhood in the middle of town.

"THERE! That's Gale's house alright." She tells me. For a minute, I stand there confused. _Why are there toys in his yard? _I brush off the thought and run up to knock on his door. I put on the best smile I can conjure up, which isn't very bright. Gale's neighbor watches me cautiously, as if she knows that something bad is going to happen. The bright white door creaks open, but it's not the man I've come to love, Gale. It's another woman.


	2. SHOCK

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES!**

**SHOCK**

She smiles and greets me while letting me into the house.

She has strawberry blonde hair, soft, chocolate brown eyes, an average stature, and is wearing a simple, navy blue dress, flowing away from her body, like a waterfall.

She says "Oh! You must be Katniss! Gale has told me so much about you. I'm Alexis, his wife. Gale's at work right now so you stay here until he gets home." "Calla, Lily, Rory, Prim, we have a guest!" Alexis calls behind her.

_Prim._ So he hasn't forgotten.

Four small children come running up to me and line up in an even row. Alexis introduces them to me from oldest to youngest starting with Rory and ending with Calla and Lily, the twins. They politely say hello and, when the tension in the room is at its peak, Alexis tells everyone that I'm 'Auntie Katniss'. The kids' faces immediately light up and run up to hug me, talking all at once about how 'Mommy' talked so much about me and Gale's adventures in the woods, but they weren't supposed to mention it to 'Daddy'.

I give a surprised look to Alexis who is lovingly staring at her precious children, ignoring me completely. As the children beg me to follow them to the living room, the door begins to open. I see a tall, muscular figure with black hair that matched perfectly with his stormy grey Seam eyes. He looks up and almost immediately a tortured expression appears in his eyes. It's my ex-best friend and love.

Gale Hawthorne.

"Hey" I say weakly.

"Hello Katniss." He says through clenched teeth. I wince. This is the first time in 10 years that I heard his voice. Even longer since I heard him say my real name, instead of Catnip.

"So…um…. How's it been?"

"Perfectly fine until you showed up." I wince again. He's changed so much. I mean, he's the one who didn't want me to leave in the first place! I can't believe I came here, only to be treated like a jerk that weaseled her way into his family!

"I just wanted to see you!" I say with hatred seeping into my voice.

"Well you're not welcome in my house! I thought that when I left, you would get the hint that you hurt me too much for me to stand to see _you_!" He says with pure and absolute disgust as he refers to me.

"Well I guess this is goodbye then!" My voice steadily climbs until I'm practically screaming and him

"Well then get out of my house!" Alexis rushes her and Gale's children out and follows close behind. I guess she's not much for conflict.

"Maybe I will!"

"Fine!"

"I don't even know why I came here in the first place!"

"Well why did you? If I recall correctly, YOU were the one who ran off with her 'lover' and never wanted to see me again!"

"Because you killed PRIM!" I scream, but I immediately regret my words. Gale's face softens, as if aging years in only a few seconds. His angry expression dissolves into a face of pure sadness, guilt, and regret.

"Gale… I'm sor-" but I'm cut off by his rough, low voice.

"No. You're right. I shouldn't be yelling at you like this."

"No Gale. You have every right to. I'm the one who stomped on your heart and randomly showed up at your door, hoping for something other than this. I mean, what was I supposed to expect? You here, alone after 8 years? No. All the girls at school practically threw themselves at you, so why not the girls in the town? I'm sorry."

"You never told me why you came in the first place." I sigh.

"It's… He's gone. He died yesterday." For the first time ever, I think Gale is speechless.

"I'm… so sorry."

"It's okay. He was dying ever since the games. The only reason he fought so hard to stay was for… me." Just saying this makes me so angry! He in so much pain, except he gave up so much just to stay with a girl who couldn't love him back with as much ferocity! This makes me so mad, I start screaming at Gale.

"I mean, why he would want to stay with me? He wasted his whole freaking life loving a stupid girl who couldn't love him back! Why would he do that? I NEVER deserved him or even you! Just….AAARRGG!"

I start crying on the spot. I've been holding back these tears for years, trying to stay strong for Peeta, but now, I just can't take anymore. I fall to the floor and start weeping. Gale awkwardly stands there, not knowing what to do makes a last minute decision and picks me up, carrying me upstairs to a guest bedroom. I spend days in there just crying and whenever I try to sleep, the nightmares just come back more horrific every time. After a couple nights of screaming myself awake, I give up trying to sleep and just stay awake curled up into a fetal position and I silently cry until I passed out.

When I awake, I see Alexis walking in with a tray full of delicious breakfast foods; toast, eggs, grapefruit, oatmeal, assorted nuts, milk, orange juice, and other foods that I cannot name.

"Oh this is great! You've finally woken up! At first I thought that you were in a coma and had no idea when you were going to wake up!" Alexis exclaims with an excited expression on her face.

"Yea, well I've had a lot on my plate." I say with a scowl. It was then when I realized how horrible my life actually was. First my father dies leaving me to provide for a family of three when I was only 12 years old, I had a mother who completely abandoned me and my sister, my sister dies and becomes a human torch, my mother abandons me AGAIN for the second time, Peeta dies of heart failure, and the only person I know that's still alive, besides my drunk neighbor, Haymitch, hates my guts and never wants to see me.

"Well, I think that Gale is over your little...um..._fight_ from yesterday so you can stay here as long as you want and I'll even help you plan for Peeta's funeral." Alexis says with obvious hope in her voice that I'll agree and go on happily ever after without a care in the world. Well guess what? I've got breaking news for you, Alexis, and it's that life never ends with happily ever after. I should know.

"Sure! I really appreciate the help!" I say as I lie through my teeth. But it worked because she grins and walks out of the room muttering something about cleaning the kitchen.

* * *

><p>As I finish up my breakfast, I see Rory walk into the room, a spitting image of his father and I accidentally choke on my last sip of orange juice. Once I hack out the liquid, I look up at Rory with a suspicious expression. I never would have guessed that he would want to talk to me.<p>

"What's up?" I ask cautiously.

"I just wanted you to know that I forgive you. Even though you broke my dad's heart and set it on fire with your flames _Girl on Fire_," he says with a knowing expression, "I just wanted you to know that I forgive you and I think that you aren't so bad."

"Gee, thanks. That really means a lot to me." I say sarcastically. I mean really, what kind of kid walks into someone's room and randomly forgives that person for something they involuntarily did to the kid's parents?

"Well I just wanted you to know that it wasn't my dad's fault. Your sister's death I mean." Suddenly my heart contracts and hot, salty tears start to well up in my eyes making everything blurry. Memories of my sister who became a human _torch_ make their way to the front of my mind, making me feel sick, sad, angry, and almost any other emotion that was different from joy and happiness. Once again, I felt abandoned.

"What… do you mean?" I manage to choke out of my numb and useless mouth.

"What I mean is that he didn't design the bombs." Rory says in barely a whisper, acting like someone could hear him and what he was about to say was a deadly secret. "Yes, he thought of the idea, but he didn't like it. He was just trying to give insight to the military department on how to think like the prey. Besides, Prim wasn't even supposed to be out there. Coin ordered her to help the wounded on the front lines and Coin ordered the drop. She knew that your sister was out there and she didn't want her to come back. It was a suicide mission. That's all I wanted to say."

As I begin to feel my breakfast coming back up my throat, the burning acid making me feel like I've been caught in the flames once again, I see the twins, Calla and Lily, walk into my room and pull Rory out, telling him that it's time to hunt. Right after they say the word, Rory's eyes light up like a shooting star and he races out of my room just as fast. In five minutes, I'm up and dressed, walking down the stairs towards what I believed to be the living room when I see Alexis sitting on the couch reading a magazine on do-it-yourself home decorating.

"Hey Alexis, what's with the kids?" I ask with intense curiosity like a raccoon crawling into a dumpster, never knowing what it'll find; good, bad, or deadly.

"Oh Gale's just taking them hunting. They should be back in time for lunch. I usually need what they catch to make it anyways" she says with a slight chuckle.

"Anyways, they're just going behind the house into the woods. They'll be back before you know it!"

"Oh. Okay, it's just I've never been that happy going out to hunt. Do you know why they like it so much?"

"Okay, here's my reasoning to answer your question." I'm surprised by how serious her expression is towards this simple question of mine. "When you used to hunt, it wasn't very fun because you had to do it. If you didn't you and your family would starve. It probably was very stressful because it was against the law in the districts to go past the fence. At any moment, you could get caught and would be shot for breaking the law. Here, it's legal, although most people don't go out there, and we aren't that dependent on Gale's hunting. We have enough money to just go out to the market and buy some. This is why my children connected hunting with good things like food, fun, and time with their father."

"Oh! I've never thought of it that way. I guess it is all true though. But I did like the woods because it was the one place I could be myself and it was filled with the memories of my father…" but I break off at the end, choking up as if the memories themselves have been tied into one of Gale's death traps and I could never escape the souls of the dead. Alexis brought me back.

"Katniss… KATNISS… KATNISS!" Suddenly I wake up from my nightmare and am brought back to the present.

"What? What happened?" I say, panic obviously taking root in my tone.

"You blacked out for a second there. You started choking and gasping, yelling about how _they_ were coming to take you with them, revenge for what you did." She says with a confused expression weaving its way onto her perfect features. _A perfect girl for a perfect man_ I silently say to myself.

*GASP* I take a sharp intake of breath at my sudden epiphany. The longing that I thought had disappeared when Peeta came back from being tortured by the Capitol has come back, but not for a baker, but a hunter. I know it's wrong to love a married man, but I can't help it. I love him okay? I know it sounds bad, but it should get better because it can't get any worse.

Can it?

**Okay! Please review and criticize! Flames are accepted and I will try to update soon! A special thanks to all my reviewers from Chapter 1:**

**Howlynn**

**Smileyface Devil**

**Mystique Madjik**

**monkeypicklez**

**katiewrites04**

**AngelofDeath64**

**AlenaAbernathy**


	3. Funerals

**I AM SOOOOOOOO SORRY! I'VE BEEN SO BUSY WITH EVERYTHING I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THIS STORY. I ALSO HAD MAJOR WRITERS BLOCK BUT IT'S NO EXCUSE. I will try to update more often but this story might be on AWOL for a little bit…..I'll post an A/N if that happens**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing! No seriously. These are hand-me-down clothes and my friend's computer **

**Funerals**

"What's wrong? Katniss" Alexis said with a perplexed appearance muddling her beautiful face.

"Nothing, it's…nothing. I just wanted to start planning Peeta's funeral, you know. I've been so scared and guilty about it, I've been trying to avoid the whole situation all together, but I shouldn't wait any longer." I say with guilt creeping into my voice. I can't believe that I feel bad about lying to Alexis, I mean, I've only known her for a few days yet it feels like she's my best friend. I guess she is considering Gale hates me now.

"Yes, that's a good idea. Here! I'll help you!"

"Thanks. Um, I think I would like to have the funeral in the chapel in District 12. It's where Peeta wanted to get married." I say; my voice full of sorrow and longing.

"Okay. Do you know their number? I could call and make reservations for you."

"Yea, that'd be great Alexis. Thanks. I'll get him a coffin and make the guest list."

"Good. The sooner this is over, the faster you can heal yourself." Alexis whispers so softly, I can barely hear her. After she leaves, I go out the door and run. I'm not sure where I'm going, but I just run wherever my feet take me. I end up at the fence separating the District from the woods. I see a tear in the fence where my legs would meet my torso. I pull at it trying to make a large hole, big enough for me to crawl through, and sure enough, I can. As soon as I get through, cutting my flesh in the process, I sprint until my lungs burn, my legs feel like lead, and bright patches of white light hinder my vision.

I see a looming figure out of the corner of my eye approaching me. I can't see their face and panic sets in.

That's when an intense pain shoves me into a cold darkness.

**O. M. G. I honestly have no idea where this is going but if you have an ideas at all, review or PM me.**


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